The Slang Gods Have Spoken

The written language is the benchmark of whether a civilization is considered to be intelligent or not. If no written record is left behind, archiologists will label an extinct people as "primitive", or "less developed intellectually".

What are these drawings? Was this an outhouse or a temple? We just don't know. We could compare it to someone 1,000 years from now finding the installation sheet for a piece of my cheap press board furniture (okay, bad example, no one can understand those).

The point is, communication should unite - not divide - us. (Everybody hold hands now. Koombiya.)

Not so fast amigo. Add the generational barrier to the geographical barrier and things get really hairy.

Take slang, as an example. In one fell swoop, slang sets the pre-adult generation apart as being the most modern and popular ("Hip", "Cool", or "In", as my generation would have said). And at the same time, Slang ensures the generation gap will always exist.

But this gap also goes in reverse. Read a 100 year old book and you'll be asking: What the heck does all-overish mean? What about Boodle? Having a brick in your hat? Didoes? Gallnipper? Honey-fuggled? Smile? (Not what you think). Hooter? (Definately not what you think).

And doesn't it really bug you when the author slips in a few lines in a foreign language - but there's no secret decoder ring?

To make matters worse, the human brain can only absorb about 2 decades of slang. I know this to be true because I'm 46 and have been "clueless" for some time now. 50 - 100 years ago I would have been "adrift".

And don't think you can fake it to fit in, either. If you are over 40, the speaking apparatus just can not form the current slang sounds in such a way as to sound anything other than stupid (ask any teenager). It's the law of the Slang Gods.

Don't despair, though. Maybe we can't use the new words, but all we have to do to stay current is use a different tone or inflection on an existing word. Presto-chango - A snotty new slang word is born! Two examples of words that have been around forever but have continued to evolve are: "really" and "seriously".

Really? Started out meaning: "Is that really true? Tell me more." Over the years it progressed to mean: "You're stupid (said sarcastically without a question mark). Now it means: "Not really" (very pronounced question mark, as if what your're hearing is too dumb to believe).

Seriously? (see "Really?")

I find this down-ward spiral of meaning a little disturbing. Plus, it's difficult for us older folks to keep up with all the nuances. My husband is a perfect example. He called me at work and told me he was going to spend his day off cleaning the garage. I thought it made more sense to put up the new blinds, towel bars and light fixtures we had been stock piling over the past year. We seem to be good at shopping, but "not so much" on installing.

My response was "Really?"

Did you hear it? Here - I'll say it again -

"Really?"

I actually said that twice to him - in just that special "tone".

and he completely did not get it. Each time he cheerfully replied, "Yes", and went on to explain his plan.

Now, after the "tone" has been used twice, you have to let it go. If it is not picked up on twice in a row, it expires.

It occured to me that my 49 year old husband must have reached some invisible tone barrier the Slang Gods have imposed. He can't really be held accountable, so I chose to "shut-pan".

What started out for me as "Really?" (not really), became "Really? - as in "Tell me more." (By the way honey, the garage looks great!) Hey, upward slang progression!

If you're my age, and all this seems unfair, don't worry. Some day these "young whipper-snappers" will be old and their speech will be out of date. Slang is the universal humbler.

Okay, here's the secret decoder ring: (Taken from: A 19th Century Slang Dictionary, Compiled and Edited by Craig Hadley)

All-overish - uncomfortable
Boodle - a group of people
Having a brick in your hat - being drunk
Didoes - causing mischief
Gallnipper - a large mosquito
Honey-fuggled - to cheat or fool someone
Smile - a drink, or to take a drink (Hmmm interesting progression. Now we smile after we take a drink)
Hooter - a tiny amount (Kind of opposite of the modern expression of "Would ya take a look at those....?")

And finally, I'll end by doing this:

Shut-pan