Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Emperor's New Clothes – Fact vs. Fiction (Installment 2 of "Fat Fairy Tales")


As the president of S.E.N.S.A. (The Society for Ethical Negation of Stupid Allegations) I feel it

incumbent upon me to right a tragic wrong that is long overdue.  The Emperor suffered a severe

blow to his reputation from which he was never able to recover.  As representatives of the

family, S.E.N.S.A. has undertaken an investigation that has spanned centuries.  We are happy to

report our findings, and finally clear the good name of this much maligned ruler, posthumously,

for the benefit of his family.

Myth 1:  The Emperor was extremely vain and overly conscience of his clothes and appearance.

Fact:  Although the Emperor did indeed dress in very fine attire, including fur trimmed robes

made from the finest purple cloth; this was not his personal wish.  It was more a matter of peer

pressure stemming from what the other monarchs of the time were wearing.  We believe the

spread of this falsehood could have also been the result of confusion on the part of his

biographer, H.C. Anderson.  Anderson published the emperor’s biography the same time as the

Little Mermaid’s.  Miss Mermaid herself was not able to wear anything other than green scales

on her lower extremities; abandoned mollusk shells to cover her top; and sea weed to adorn her

hair – resulting in an intense jealousy of the emperor’s finery.  It was likely she who started the

vicious rumors of the emperor’s conceit.