As a self-help theory collector, I’m intrigued by the Birth Order theory. I adore Kevin Leman, but I’m too cheap to buy his book so I had to resort to googling my wrists into a carpal tunnel frenzy to find (probably inaccurate yet very entertaining) information. Here are the bits and pieces (many of them contradictory) I was able to glean.
The main categories are: Firstborn; Middle Child; Youngest Child; and Only Child (similar to first born).
Since my only sibling is an older brother, I must be the baby, right? Not so fast. A lot of the "youngest" traits didn’t fit me, and a quiz I took revealed that I was probably the third-born (middle) child. What's going on here? I don’t remember any unwanted younger sibling being put up for adoption.
Here’s where the tricky variations come in.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
What They're Doing Now (Installment 1 of "Fat Fairy Tales")
A condensed verson of this story was published on HumorPress.com - the April/May 2011 edition.
The Daily Herald
News Flash!
How the West was Framed
Reporter: Sir, aren’t you the attorney who defended the Wicked Witch of the West?
Attorney: I handled her appeal, yes. Quite successfully, I might add.
Reporter: What's she doing now?
Attorney: I believe she’s on Broadway.
````
I read those words from a yellowed newspaper as my host Wanda set a cup of steaming, fresh brewed coffee in front of me.
Wanda sighed. “I can still remember reading that interview as if it was yesterday. For the first time in years I began to feel hope. If The Wicked Witch of the West’s conviction could be overturned after all these years, then maybe I could get justice too. That’s one of the reasons I called you.”
“But I’m not a lawyer.”
“Oh I know. West’s hot shot lawyer has offered to take me on as a client pro bono.”
“Pro bono? That’s surprising. Usually he only represents wealthy clients.”
“No kidding. West had to sell off most of her flying monkeys – she was heart broken. No, I called you because I read the biography you did for The Big Bad Wolf. I was mesmerized - couldn’t put it down. I had no idea he had such a traumatic childhood.”
“Thank you, I’m flattered. Did you know him well?”
“Only in his later years, when he was just a shell of a canine. By that time all his teeth had fallen out. Quite sad, really. Kind of hard to gum grandma to death, ya know?”
The Daily Herald
News Flash!
How the West was Framed
Reporter: Sir, aren’t you the attorney who defended the Wicked Witch of the West?
Attorney: I handled her appeal, yes. Quite successfully, I might add.
Reporter: What's she doing now?
Attorney: I believe she’s on Broadway.
````
I read those words from a yellowed newspaper as my host Wanda set a cup of steaming, fresh brewed coffee in front of me.
Wanda sighed. “I can still remember reading that interview as if it was yesterday. For the first time in years I began to feel hope. If The Wicked Witch of the West’s conviction could be overturned after all these years, then maybe I could get justice too. That’s one of the reasons I called you.”
“But I’m not a lawyer.”
“Oh I know. West’s hot shot lawyer has offered to take me on as a client pro bono.”
“Pro bono? That’s surprising. Usually he only represents wealthy clients.”
“No kidding. West had to sell off most of her flying monkeys – she was heart broken. No, I called you because I read the biography you did for The Big Bad Wolf. I was mesmerized - couldn’t put it down. I had no idea he had such a traumatic childhood.”
“Thank you, I’m flattered. Did you know him well?”
“Only in his later years, when he was just a shell of a canine. By that time all his teeth had fallen out. Quite sad, really. Kind of hard to gum grandma to death, ya know?”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)